One: Don't let anyone tell you that you are a bad parent for flying with your baby.
You are not! Obviously traveling on your own is easier, but you aren't endangering your child's health by bringing them with you on an airplane, unless your child has a special medical condition, and you won't be torturing the rest of the passengers on your flight if you are able to keep your baby relatively happy by allowing them to eat, sleep and clear their ears when needed.
Two: Airplane noise is actually your friend.
Do you use a white noise machine at home to help your baby sleep at night? What about a vibrating bouncy seat for your baby? An airplane is like one giant white noise bouncy chair for the duration of your flight, and if you are able to make your baby comfortable they will likely sleep for a huge portion of the flight.
Three: Take off and landing.
You have probably already been told by someone to "feed your baby on take off and landing" to help your baby's ears pop. Well this is fine and dandy, but we have ALWAYS had problems with this. Usually that Cecilia is starving (screaming) about 30 minutes before take off, so we end up feeding her and she finishes up right before take off. And landing... Well, the timing of this is sometimes tricky.
If you have trouble with this like we did, you can use a Pacifier / Binky. Start your baby off on the binky before you travel. Find one that your baby really likes. (We tried 8 different brands before we found one Cecilia likes which incidentally is made by Avent, not the company that makes our baby bottles Tommee Tippee). When you start to taxi try to get your baby to take the pacifier. If they won't take it at first, put it in their mouth and gently pull on it a little bit. Make it a game. Eventally your baby will hopefully start to suck on the pacifier as the plain revs up and you start your take off. I think babies instinctively suck to clear their ears, so if you experience turbulence on your flight and your ears begin to pop, make sure to offer a bottle, breastfeeding or a binky to your baby to help them clear their ears.
You CAN totally feed your baby on take off and landing if you can get them to eat, and this is a great option. If you are bottle feeding a tip is to make a larger bottle than you would normally feed to your baby because the only time Cecilia has ever wanted to drink 8 oz at one time was on a flight where the flight attendant took my diaper bag and stuck it on the other side of the plane and Cecilia decided her 4 ounce bottle just wasn't going to cut it. She cried until I could finally get a flight attendant to give me my bag so I could make her another bottle. I would rather make too much during that moment and have to toss it, than have her be unable to clear her ears and be hungry for 30 minutes or so until the fasten seatbelt sign has been turned off.
If your baby is young enough and are used to nursing on a boppy pillow, BRING IT. The pillow fits perfectly and keeps you from having to deal with the awkward, "how do I protect my baby's head from the arm rest" issue while breast or bottle feeding. I have done both by the way, and breast feeding is actually way easier. You don't have to bring all the bottles, formula etc. etc. etc. So don't think that it will be easier to do it that way. I used a "hooter hider" and no one said peep to me about feeding her. I think breastfeeding is totally natural and I agree that you should do it however makes you most comfortable, but I even as a woman, fall into the category of people who feel that it can be awkward if you pull your boob out in front of other people, especially when you have a mix of people from different cultures who have very different ideas about modesty from place to place. To be safe, just bring a hooter hider and try to remember that people come from all backgrounds, and as much as you want them to respect your right to breastfeed your child, don't go out of your way to make people uncomfortable to make a point. Save that for your flight from Los Angeles to Sacramento, not your international flight where you REALLY don't want to make people mad at you for the next 14 hours.
If you can get your baby to take a binkie bring LOTS them! If you can't get your baby to eat, or take a binky, but your baby will suck on your finger, give your baby your finger to suck on during take off and landing. The important part is that they have SOMETHING to suck on during take off and landing to help keep their ears clear.
Make sure you have managed to snag a bottle of water to mix your formula (if you are bottle feeding) before getting on your plane. If they take your bottled water from you while boarding, get a bottle from the flight attendant AS SOON AS YOU GET ON THE PLANE. Asian airlines are awesome and usually give you a little bottle right away any way if you have a baby. A Delta flight attendant however made me wait forever for water, then when I called her again as we were taxiing to get that water I needed to make Cecilia's bottle she informed me that she would get it to me as soon as we were up at altitude. Finally she took my bottle and filled it with SCALDING hot water from the coffee maker and brought it back to me, where I had to explain that my infant couldn't drink a bottle that was going to burn her mouth. She then added MORE water to cool it off thus giving Cecilia a super diluted bottle. Don't let this happen to you. It is a bad way to start your flight.
Four: Flying Internationally
If at all possible, take an Asian or European airline. Singapore Air, Korean Air, Japan Airlines, and so on. The Asian culture specifically, is super baby friendly. The flight attendants are young attractive and happy women who LOVE babies. These airlines are way better staffed than your equivalent Delta or United flights staffed with a bunch of bitter old maids who think you are an idiot for bringing your baby on the flight and should suffer as a consequence of your stupid decision to travel with a baby.
Five: Don't let your friend make you feel bad for not shelling out money to buy an entire seat for your baby. Whether it is $100 or $2,000 for that extra ticket, you don't need to spend it. (That said, if booking an individual seat for Cecilia was $200 or less, or if someone else (IE the Military is paying) I would probably book it just for convenience). What you CAN do is sit in a bassinet row and get the airline to set up a bassinet for you which attaches securely to the bulkhead row and allows your baby to sit, and lie down flat so that they can actually sleep! Happy and comfortable babies sleep on flights. They don't cry. All of the Asian airlines offer these bassinet options. Delta does too, but they are pretty horrible. Even if your baby doesn't need to sleep on your flight it is nice to have somewhere to set your baby that is safe, and if you need to you can change your baby's diaper in the bassinet if the bathroom is occupied. This is especially helpful if it is an emergency diaper change, or if your baby is a little bigger because those bathroom changing tables are only as long as the bathroom is wide... which we all know is pretty freaking small.
Can't get into a bassinet row because there are so many babies on your flight? No problem. Bring your car seat to the gate and as you are about to board, find the nicest flight attendant and ask in your sweetest voice, tell them that you weren't able to get into a bassinet row and is there any chance you could bring your car seat on? Don't ask if your seat will fit. At a minimum you can make it fit front facing, which in a car is not safe, but most of the bumps on an airplane are up and down, not forward and back. My Chicco Key Fit 30 fit rear facing and it was a life saver. Cecilia slept just like she would have on a long car ride.
Six:
Ticketing your infant. - If you are flying within a country your infant does not require a ticket, only a boarding pass. You do have to notify the airline prior to flying that you will be bringing your "lap infant." You cannot do this before your child is born as you have to provide them with your infant's legal name and birth date. If you are flying internationally, expect to pay 10% of a ticket price to bring your infant. You have to have an actual ticket for your lap baby. What do you get for this 10% you ask? Well, it depends on the airline, but with Japan Airlines you get: A bassinet in a bulk head row, diaper service (yes, they actually provide you with diapers for the flight), a baby meal (based on age), an extra carry on bag and an extra checked bag (YOU HAVE TO REQUEST ALL OF THESE THINGS OVER THE PHONE). You can also gate check your car seat and stroller if you want. I would NEVER check my car seat or stroller unless I had a super amazing protective case. Our luggage is always damaged when we fly internationally, I certainly wouldn't want that to happen to our car seat or stroller when I can just gate check it.
Don't wait to get your infant ticket the day you are traveling unless you have to. If you DO have to get the ticket the day of your travel, make sure you give yourself PLENTY of time. and by plenty I mean 2+ hours to get this ticket. It is one of those things that it seems nobody is particularly well trained on how to do and they usually have to call 16 people before they can issue your ticket. If you buy your ticket via Expedia etc. you will have to purchase the ticket through one of the airlines that is providing your international travel. Make sure you call Expedia etc. beforehand to find out who you need to buy your infant ticket through. If you are flying on more than one airline, this may be unclear. If the airline tells you that you need to book it through someone else, insist that they book the ticket for you. Be nice, but if they are stubborn, request a manager. We have done this several times now, and I appear to know much more than anyone I have ever spoken with at the airlines at this point.
Seven:
What to bring -
- Diapers they say to plan for 1 diaper for every hour of travel. This may be way more than you would ever use, but if your flight is delayed, airports don't sell diapers.
- Extra baby wipes. Like Lots and Lots.
- Binkies - Bring several.
- Binky Leash - Something to strap it to your baby so it isn't always on the dirty airplane floor.
- Binky / toy wipes. These non toxic wipes are really inexpensive and really helpful if you need to clean anything off that your baby is going to be touching or putting in their mouth.
- Toys / stuffed animals.
- Extra clothing changes for your baby. Imagine the worst possible circumstances. Your baby gets an upset tummy on the flight... You get the idea. I recommend bringing several outfit changes. We prefer to bring some onesies and footie PJs. That way if it is cold or hot on the flight your baby can be comfortable.
- Bibs and lots of them!
- Burp cloths or little rags. Something you can use to clean off your baby, yourself etc.
- Mittens - If your baby is a scratcher
- Baby carrier. (Baby Bjorn, Ergo, whatever. You will be glad to have it.) FYI you cannot wear your baby during take off and landing on most airlines. You will need to just hold your baby.
- Baby formula and bottles (if you are not exclusively breast feeding). Bring extra. You can bring liquid formula, but be aware that at every security gate you will have to get it ALL out to be inspected. This includes any bottles that your baby didn't finish on your previous flight. I recommend keeping all of your bottles and formula in one bag if possible. Pre-measure your baby formula into your bottles before hand so you only have to add water. I know this is not what the can says, but do it any way.
- Baby food / Snacks (if you are bringing anything that is liquid it will be inspected at security.) Allow extra time when going through security.
- Baby Spoon
- Change of clothes or two for yourself. If your baby has a poop-splosion or barfs all over you, you don't want to spend the next 10 hours like that. The people next to you don't want you to either.
- Boppy Pillow - If your baby is small enough.
- Stroller - (To the gate)
- Car Seat - (To the gate)
- Changing pad
- Blankets - To put your baby on, to cover them with, to cover you with, to use on your changing pad or in the bassinet to change a diaper... bring lots of those little blankets.
Eight:
Packing - Pack everything in ziplock bags. Get Gallon, Quart, and Sandwich bags. Put diapers in packs of 3-5 in quart size bags. Put outfits, folded nicely in bags. Put everything in these plastic bags because it is easier to pull them out of your carry on bag. These plastic bags slide instead of pulling everything else with it. Roll up burp cloths and put these in sandwich bags. You can re-use these bags for disposing of dirty diapers, throwing your barfed on baby clothing in or just using on your next flight. You won't be upset that you went to this trouble when packing.
Nine:
Identify a couple of awesome flight attendants or passengers on the flight if you are flying on your own with your baby so that if you need to use the bathroom you could ask them if they would be willing to hold your baby for a few moments. Asian flight attendants are all about this and they do it all the time. They may even come and ask if they can hold your baby. If that sweet looking grandma offers to hold your baby while you are waiting in the bathroom line, as long as she isn't coughing up a lung, just say thank you. You won't be sainted for saying, "Oh, no, I am fine I have her/him." Sometimes it is nice to use a shoebox sized bathroom without a baby on your lap, or while you are trying to eat your airplane food.
Ten:
Airport Security: If you have baby food or liquid baby formula that you are taking through a security check point, they cannot make you give up your baby food or formula. BUT, they can search every piece of luggage you are bringing through, they can test all of your baby formula (by machine which does not open the bottles) and they can totally screw up your whole organizational system you carefully thought out for hours while packing so that you knew exactly where everything was for travel. My advice, is don't bring liquid formula. Keep any and all liquid stuff in the same carry on bag. Even if you have a stroller and car seat, these have to go through the X-Ray scanner almost always. You still have to take off your shoes and on and on and on, so, I highly recommend wearing your baby through the security check point. They won't do the body scan of you and your baby, they will run you through a metal detector and do a pat down instead. By wearing your baby you will have your hands free to reassemble the mess that took place when you went through the security check point.
When flying internationally you will probably have to go through a new security check point in each country you fly through. For Example: we fly out of Busan South Korea where we go through a standard TSA style security screening and then right before you board your plane they search your carry on bags. Then, when I arrive in Japan, right after I get off of my flight (because we have a layover at Tokyo/Narita) I go through an immediate security check before I am able to enter the international terminal. We will then go on to Vancouver BC to catch a plane to Portland and we will likely have to do another security screening there as well. Finally, you will have to go through customs where you pick up all of your checked luggage, put it on a cart, and haul all of your checked baggage, carry on baggage, stroller, car seat, diaper bag and Oh yeah, your baby up to the customs counter. Hopefully no one needs to investigate what you are bringing into the country and then you are off to meet your family or find your rental car.
Eleven: What NOT to bring -
Don't bother with a laptop. You won't have room to bust out your laptop if you child is with you so don't bother. Seriously. If you have to bring it on your trip go ahead and do so, but it is just one more thing you have to get out at security.
If you don't think you are going to use something, don't bother bringing it.
If you have a pack n play, don't bring it unless you HAVE to. Most hotels will bring a bassinet or a crib to your room at no additional charge. I have also found that a nice stack of blankets on the floor isn't a bad option if your baby isn't at the rolling all over the floor, crawling, standing etc. age yet.
Do you really need your stroller or can you get by with your baby carrier? How long is your trip? Can you borrow a stroller from someone at your destination?
Same goes for car seats, bring your car seat if there isn't one waiting for you at your destination. Your baby cannot ride in a car in the good old USA without one, but if you can borrow one from a friend for the duration of your travel it will save potential damage to your car seat and it will be one less thing you have to haul through customs and all over the airport.
Don't bring more carry on bags than you are allowed. You might even have to stuff your purse in a diaper bag if the gate agents are super sticklers. So plan ahead and pack wisely.
Twelve: Travel documents:
If you are traveling without your spouse make sure you have your spouse write a letter and have it notarized, listing the dates you plan to travel with your child and that you have permission to do so. Babies have to have passports too. Passports take time, so give yourself plenty. You can also take your baby's passport photo yourself. Put down a white sheet lay your awake baby on the sheet. They have to be looking strait ahead, have nothing on their hair/head and their eyes have to be open. It is easier to get this shot with your baby laying down because you cannot be in the picture, anywhere. Good luck getting your newborn to stand up in the photo booth for that one! You can then print the picture using the passport photo tool online to size the picture correctly, or you can take it to a Wallgreens etc. to have it printed. A birth certificate is also always a good idea to bring with you.
Thirteen: Don't let the flight attendants push you around.
I don't mean to say that you should be rude to the flight attendants, by any means, but I do mean, don't allow yourself to be walked all over like I did.
I had a Delta flight where I pre-boarded my plane with Cecilia and all of my Carry on bags by myself. The Delta flight attendant told me that she would be right back to help me with my bags. What she did was make me stand there for ages letting all of the overhead baggage spaces fill up and everyone get on the plane. THEN she came back to "help me" with my bags. She put my diaper bag with everything MOST important to me on the flight on the other side of the airplane. Imagine me on the left side of the airplane in a bulkhead row with no ability to store anything in front of me. The flight attendant puts my diaper bag in an overhead bin in the RIGHT side of the airplane on the other aisle! Then she places my other two bags one several rows in front of me on my side of the plane and the other several rows back. Because THIS WAS HELPING ME HOW???? If you are flying by yourself, and you think a flight attendant is doing this to you, before everything fills up, as someone across or near you if they would be willing to help you lift your bags. Or, ask a nice looking lady or gentleman if they would mind holding your baby for just one moment while you put your bags up. I should have asked for help but I didn't. For the record, this was the same lady who gave me scalding hot water for Cecilia's bottle. I think she either hated babies, or hated people who brought babies onto airplanes. Not sure which.
I hope that you have found this information helpful. I welcome any questions, ideas and feedback and I will continue to add to this blog going forward.
Wishing everyone safe travels!!!
